My Application for the Supreme Court
I just read on the Globe and Mail website that Canadians are invited to submit names to Justice Minister Irwin Cotler for nominations to fill the vacancy in the Supreme Court of Canada with the impending retirement of Alberta's Mr. Justice Major.
I thought I would share my application letter with you.
Dear Mr. Cotler,
I would like to put forward my name as a candidate for the Supreme Court of Canada. I thought my wife would have made a great Governor General but no one asked her to apply and she wasn't on Helen Scherrer's Christmas list so our family missed out on that opportunity. It was so kind of you to open up nominations for the Supreme Court of Canada to all Canadians. I mean talk about inclusivness and celebrating diversity. You are awesome Mr. Cotler.
I meet the basic criteria of having been a practising member of a Canadian law society for at least 10 years - 32 in fact. Well, I went on the retirement roll of the BC Law Society on December 31st, 2004, but I am certain my application for reinstatement will be processed before the deadline for applications is attained.
As for my other qualifications, I must first suspend my most prominent virtue, humility before I list them. I didn't have time to importune a friend of mine to put forward my name so I need to be my own tout. It worked for Rosie Abella so why shouldn't I try it too.
I am a Westerner and the vacant position is that of a Westerner so I assume that gives me a leg up on some of the eastern wannabes who are eager to don the ermine skins.
I was born in Saskatchewan, was married in Alberta and live in British Columbia. I spoke French before I spoke English, was a Roman Catholic for the first 25 years of my life, an agnostic for 10 years and a Christian and an Anglican since the age of 37. I am thinking of becoming a Roman Catholic again because they have a leader with the power to enforce discipline and Mr. Martin is a Roman Catholic isn't he, or has his bishop outed him. It is either that or becoming a Liberal again. Will you be sending out invitations for the next leader of the Liberal Party soon? I might throw my name in that ring if somehow I don't make the cut as a new Supreme.
I have voted for the following parties federally: Liberal, Progressive Conservative, Reform Party, Alliance Party, Rhinoceros Party and Conservative. Provincially I have voted NDP, Socred and Liberal. I think this shows I am willing to listen to different arguments and I am willing to be persuaded to change my mind. And once persuaded I am even willing to change my mind. In fact, once persuaded I can do pretty much whatever I please so I think I would be a perfect Liberal appointment to the Supremes.
I read a lot and I write passably well. I have read Carlos Castenada and Lloyd Axworthy and have drool marks on page 4 of a book by each of them to prove it.
My favourite stack in law school was the Tasmanian Law Review section. I could sleep there undisturbed for over an hour and my snoring bothered no one. Ralph Goodale once stepped on my hand while searching for some obscure reference with which to impress Otto Lang, but I forgave him - for stepping on my hand that is. When Rosie Abella uses a decision from Tasmania to support some new definition she next invents, I might not have heard of the case but at least I will know where to find it.
I am a good listener, I don't think I would fall asleep while the court was in session. My judgments would be well reasoned and even better written. I would resist the temptation to use too many big words. I know the difference between enormousness and enormity, and resist those who say there no longer is a difference. Now don't get me wrong, I can deal with change and I know how important that is in the life of a Supreme.
I have visited every Canadian province but Newfoundland. My favourite latin maxim is "ex opere operato" - the effect is in the doing. (That is why I am applying for this position and not just talking about it to my friends and my dog.) I will do a quick review course before my appointment so I can get on top of some of those other quaint phrases like, "reductio ad absurdum" and "de minimus non curat lex" or my law school favourite "nemo dat quod non habet"
I have visited Barbados, China, Chile, Cuba, but not Haiti. I have visited England, France, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Greece, Spain, Luxembourg, Italy, Hungary, French Polynesia, New Zealand, Mexico and the United States. There must be others but I can't remember them and I put my passport in the washing machine after our last trip and...
I offer this travel itinerary as evidence I understand the human condition and would have no difficulty dealing with the multi-cultural nature of Canadian society. Also I like Thai food, though not too spicy. I once had Jamaican food, but not Haitian.
Oh yes, and I once wrote a paper in 3rd year law school for my Law and Poverty class which required me to research some aboriginal issues. I met David Ahenakew and had a beer or two with him in a bar in Prince Albert. I wouldn't let that experience prejudice me if his appeal is heard after my appointment. Come to think of it I might fall asleep during some of Doug Christie's submissions, but I will ask Rosie to lend me her notes.
So Irwin, that pretty much sums up my resume. I can only hope I catch Mr. Martin in one of his giddy little moods when the shortlisting occurs. Maybe he will like my story or my name. Pretty close to Bono isn't it? Oh, and while I haven't worked for the CBC I do listen to it and it has been neat watching football games on CBC without commentary, how radical an idea is that! And hockey last winter, all those reruns of old Stanley Cup games, I was able to make a lot of money betting against my cousin Marcel. But I digress.
Yours if you want me, I wait with anticipation, but with neither trepidation nor consternation,
B.J. Buan
P.S. Any chance of getting an advance on the sweet salary you pay the Supremes, and maybe the dental plan could kick in a little early!
P.S.S. If for some reason I don't get this appointment could you just slide this application over onto the pile of Senate nominations. Just be sure I am ahead of Gurmant Grewal and Judy Sgro.
I thought I would share my application letter with you.
Dear Mr. Cotler,
I would like to put forward my name as a candidate for the Supreme Court of Canada. I thought my wife would have made a great Governor General but no one asked her to apply and she wasn't on Helen Scherrer's Christmas list so our family missed out on that opportunity. It was so kind of you to open up nominations for the Supreme Court of Canada to all Canadians. I mean talk about inclusivness and celebrating diversity. You are awesome Mr. Cotler.
I meet the basic criteria of having been a practising member of a Canadian law society for at least 10 years - 32 in fact. Well, I went on the retirement roll of the BC Law Society on December 31st, 2004, but I am certain my application for reinstatement will be processed before the deadline for applications is attained.
As for my other qualifications, I must first suspend my most prominent virtue, humility before I list them. I didn't have time to importune a friend of mine to put forward my name so I need to be my own tout. It worked for Rosie Abella so why shouldn't I try it too.
I am a Westerner and the vacant position is that of a Westerner so I assume that gives me a leg up on some of the eastern wannabes who are eager to don the ermine skins.
I was born in Saskatchewan, was married in Alberta and live in British Columbia. I spoke French before I spoke English, was a Roman Catholic for the first 25 years of my life, an agnostic for 10 years and a Christian and an Anglican since the age of 37. I am thinking of becoming a Roman Catholic again because they have a leader with the power to enforce discipline and Mr. Martin is a Roman Catholic isn't he, or has his bishop outed him. It is either that or becoming a Liberal again. Will you be sending out invitations for the next leader of the Liberal Party soon? I might throw my name in that ring if somehow I don't make the cut as a new Supreme.
I have voted for the following parties federally: Liberal, Progressive Conservative, Reform Party, Alliance Party, Rhinoceros Party and Conservative. Provincially I have voted NDP, Socred and Liberal. I think this shows I am willing to listen to different arguments and I am willing to be persuaded to change my mind. And once persuaded I am even willing to change my mind. In fact, once persuaded I can do pretty much whatever I please so I think I would be a perfect Liberal appointment to the Supremes.
I read a lot and I write passably well. I have read Carlos Castenada and Lloyd Axworthy and have drool marks on page 4 of a book by each of them to prove it.
My favourite stack in law school was the Tasmanian Law Review section. I could sleep there undisturbed for over an hour and my snoring bothered no one. Ralph Goodale once stepped on my hand while searching for some obscure reference with which to impress Otto Lang, but I forgave him - for stepping on my hand that is. When Rosie Abella uses a decision from Tasmania to support some new definition she next invents, I might not have heard of the case but at least I will know where to find it.
I am a good listener, I don't think I would fall asleep while the court was in session. My judgments would be well reasoned and even better written. I would resist the temptation to use too many big words. I know the difference between enormousness and enormity, and resist those who say there no longer is a difference. Now don't get me wrong, I can deal with change and I know how important that is in the life of a Supreme.
I have visited every Canadian province but Newfoundland. My favourite latin maxim is "ex opere operato" - the effect is in the doing. (That is why I am applying for this position and not just talking about it to my friends and my dog.) I will do a quick review course before my appointment so I can get on top of some of those other quaint phrases like, "reductio ad absurdum" and "de minimus non curat lex" or my law school favourite "nemo dat quod non habet"
I have visited Barbados, China, Chile, Cuba, but not Haiti. I have visited England, France, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Greece, Spain, Luxembourg, Italy, Hungary, French Polynesia, New Zealand, Mexico and the United States. There must be others but I can't remember them and I put my passport in the washing machine after our last trip and...
I offer this travel itinerary as evidence I understand the human condition and would have no difficulty dealing with the multi-cultural nature of Canadian society. Also I like Thai food, though not too spicy. I once had Jamaican food, but not Haitian.
Oh yes, and I once wrote a paper in 3rd year law school for my Law and Poverty class which required me to research some aboriginal issues. I met David Ahenakew and had a beer or two with him in a bar in Prince Albert. I wouldn't let that experience prejudice me if his appeal is heard after my appointment. Come to think of it I might fall asleep during some of Doug Christie's submissions, but I will ask Rosie to lend me her notes.
So Irwin, that pretty much sums up my resume. I can only hope I catch Mr. Martin in one of his giddy little moods when the shortlisting occurs. Maybe he will like my story or my name. Pretty close to Bono isn't it? Oh, and while I haven't worked for the CBC I do listen to it and it has been neat watching football games on CBC without commentary, how radical an idea is that! And hockey last winter, all those reruns of old Stanley Cup games, I was able to make a lot of money betting against my cousin Marcel. But I digress.
Yours if you want me, I wait with anticipation, but with neither trepidation nor consternation,
B.J. Buan
P.S. Any chance of getting an advance on the sweet salary you pay the Supremes, and maybe the dental plan could kick in a little early!
P.S.S. If for some reason I don't get this appointment could you just slide this application over onto the pile of Senate nominations. Just be sure I am ahead of Gurmant Grewal and Judy Sgro.
posted by Ben Buan | 9:29 p.m.
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